My goal this year is to put something on this blog almost every day. This will help me in both my school and personal writing, and also give you, Dear Readers, a closer look into my life.
Though my intuition says that it will be a good year, I must admit that I feel a little uneasy in these first hours and days. Being a student is very enjoyable, but is not a walk in the park–not only because the subject matter of my dissertation is difficult, but because my situation is very difficult to navigate bureaucratically and financially.
I’m also single and pondering once again how I choose to approach issues around friendship, romance, and other serious relationships. I have the tremendous gift of remaining amicable or even “solid” with friends long past, including most of my exes, for which I am deeply grateful. As I grow toward being a professional adult, I am increasingly concerned and curious about how living with a disability affects my capacity to sustain my daily life and friendships. I hope to enter some more counselling soon that will help me find some wisdom about moving forward.
Wiser heads than mine say that if I have gratitude, I’ll be fine, and even prosperous. Sometimes I am struck by how precarious my life feels, but even more so how wonderful it is to know that I have a room of my own (with a door that shuts!), enough food, friends who care about me, good books to read, and so many other simple pleasures. When I am in those moments, some of my other concerns feel so small, because right here there is always enough.
And as we draw toward the end of Christmastide, above all I am grateful for Messiah Jesus, the Mind of God made flesh–human, Jewish flesh–to reconcile all things with God at just the right time. Knowing that Beautiful Man will be, I hope, my greatest joy. This year, and for the ages of ages.