I wonder if being driven into the wilderness
(by the Spirit, let’s not forget!)
to be tempted
gave you clarity.
I wonder if the intimacy you enjoyed
while ‘normal’ was stripped away
taught you who you were before your Father
and before the Devil. I like
to imagine that you looked the satan in the eye
and said, “Human beings do not live by bread alone, but…!”
Every word of God was filling your mouth,
and the Kingdom
was all around you, clear and beckoning,
and there was a divine and eucharistic liturgy to do
on behalf of the cosmos.
As I wander with you–
as ‘normal’ is stripped away and my broken heart heals–
would you give me a small share in that clarity,
of who I am before my Father, and while looking the satan in the eye,
and of the part I play, with you (and the whole communion of saints), in the liturgy
of the cosmos.
Mostly, Lord, I just wish I could be fully myself.
Somehow, I think that clarity would please you.