Not Queer enough? The harm of policing queer people in “straight-passing” relationships

Fantastic post!

mennoQmunity

Written by Alex Neufeldt

The idea of writing this post came to me while reading the comments section of a youtube video by DailyXtra featuring my pastor Pieter.  I was irked by the comments of people chastising him for his decision to remain married to his wife, Susie, calling him deluded and selfish. As a bisexual* woman, I am very familiar with having my relationships and identity policed and delegitimized for supposedly “not being gay enough,” or not performing queerness “correctly”. Thus, I was upset that the same thing was happening to Pieter in the comments section. Pieter and Susie’s marriage is an example of a Mixed-orientation relationship- a relationship wherein the partners do not share the same sexual orientation. There are many types of Mixed-orientation relationships, but the one that I will discuss in this post is the “straight-passing” relationship. A “straight-passing” relationship is a mixed-orientation relationship composed…

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