Somehow, I gained a friend today.
So, I must admit that triggering
conversations about relationships, identity, status, desire,
have been my bread and butter recently.
Then here’s a completely lovely acquaintance
swooping in to save me,
to deal with my pain by means of an allegedly surgical strike.
Up rises defensiveness. Up rises a deep memory
of being non-violent, even in my speech,
which means I need to edit the fucking responses three times,
using I-statements and remembering advice
(breathe in, breathe out)
from another friend I’ve gained:
Never say anything unkind.
Be a friend to yourself, self.
Ask for what you need.
Use humor to remember that you are
adulting just fine. Speak what you know,
and not what he wants to hear.
Somehow, there’s enough understanding
that it turns into a phone call to clarify,
because text on the Internet is sometimes not the place
to dig deep.
Funny, how a voice can put everything into context.
Funny, how commitment to stay seated, listening
is the heart of mysticism:
hearing the celestial laughter.
At this place of joy,
I have gained a new friend, today.
Big breath, out.