Category: 2016

God’s Silence of Solidarity. A prayer.

My friend, colleague, and pastor Sam of MCC Toronto asked me to submit something for a prayer service about the Orlando Pulse mass shooting. After turning her request over for many hours, and admitting that I didn’t feel adequate, this is what bubbled up over about a fifteen-minute period, this early morning, well after midnight.

Where are the words?

Where are the right words to tell you, Source of All,
what it’s like to have our worst fears confirmed,
to see queer people of colour snuffed out,
to know that LGBTQ+ people are still,
in some eyes and hearts
less than the image and likeness of God,
less than fully human?
Where are the words?

Where are the best words to express, Word of God,
all the love and pain we feel,
all the lost sleep,
all the numbness and anger and tears,
all the memories of when
words from Scripture and the mouths of friends
and family felt like bullets ripping through us?

Where are the words?

Where are the strong words to shout, Giver of Life,
that we still hope in you,
that we will choose to forgive,

that we are defiant and fabulous,
that we will not hate and we will remember,
that we will not stop working for your justice
until every human being knows the flame of your love
over their heads,
until the principalities of homophobia and transphobia and racism and religious xenophobia
know their defeat,
until the idolatry of “the right to bear arms” is smashed
in favour of the Divine image in every life,
the flourishing of our communities and peoples?
These feeble words are not enough,
and yet you hear us.
So, in your many names and in the name of Jesus,
we choose, for a moment, your silence of solidarity with us,
and the Love you are always speaking.
Amen.

Rose Gold. A poem.

I have faith in the power of words.

They are tiny, and insignificant,
and when you use them so powerfully

to evoke the disaster of your life,
complete with sights and smells worthy

of a trigger warning,
and when you tell me

you do not have faith in the power of words,
I see a glass vase dropping to a concrete floor, shattering,
in a shadowed room.

I glimpse, for a moment, your lack of faith.

 

But then I see a man with shadowed face,

one who heard the shatter,
and without a broom or even even a dustpan

gets down on his hands and knees
wearing only a towel

picking up the pieces,
one

by
one.

The sun goes down,
and the glass lies dead.

Still, he keeps working,
working all night,

and I see blood flowing from his fingers,
dark and dripping

and still he picks up the pieces,
one

by
one.

I can barely keep my eyes open–
maybe I don’t

but suddenly a shout rouses me.
My eyes burst open

to the room filling with
rose gold light,

imparting rose-gold to the glass
stained with blood,

and his shout is a word,
so golden with love

that a blood-red rose blooms
in my heart, thorns and all:

“LIVE!”

I do not understand it,
but he has a new vase in his hand,

the same one,
but crackling with lightning.

And the man smiles,
his eyes filling with the joy

of making the universe
and calling it good.

I have faith in that Word,
that calls me rose-gold.

Therefore, though they made him bleed,
yours, and mine,
matter.

A prayer from Body 1.0 (John 20).

They wanted to ask you, “Who are you?”
But they knew it was you:

all “Body 2.0” in a “Body 1.0” world.

My inner child, the one who loves you the most, says:

Resurrection: YaY!
I want a turn!

Teach the rest of me to trust you more,

because Hope sometimes feels
like an explosive
strapped to my chest.

Amen.

A letter to my friend, root beer.

O root beer, my old friend:

How I will enjoy spending time with you again,
this Easter Season.

You’ve crossed my mind, lately,
but to be honest I haven’t missed you much:

I knew you would be there,
still waiting, after my short walkabout with the Rabbi.

Still:

I hope I will appreciate you more,
after making a little space for

“humans do not live by food and drink alone,
but by every word coming from the mouth of God.”

I hope your sweetness
reminds me, just a little, of

“taste and see that the Lord is good;
happy are those who trust in him.”

It will be good to spend time with you again.

Cheers and kisses,
Robbie

Amen, Alleluia! (Easter Day)

From my book, O Beautiful Dust:

All-powerful and Sovereign God:
This is the third day, when you raised your Son,
the world’s Saviour and True Light,
from his rest in a garden tomb
by the power of your Holy Spirit.

This is the day when you broke forever
the power of death, annihilated hell,
and condemned evil by your just judgment.

This is the day when all whom you call friends
celebrate Jesus Christ, firstborn of all creation,
through whom you call the whole universe
to enjoy you forever.

Grant that we,
living joyfully within in your story of liberation,
may do justice for all,
love others with acts of deep kindness,
and walk with you humbly
in the glory of your Triune radiance.

This is the third day,
when your people shout their deepest praise:
Amen, alleluia!

But I don’t feel anything…

1. I have a good friend,
a fiery and earthy poet and activist,

who wondered aloud among friends
if there was something wrong with him

because the Feast of the Resurrection
doesn’t move him as it does others.

…but I don’t feel anything…

He reads his Bible, and he prays,
and that’s it.

2. Sometimes I wonder if he is a stronger Christian than I,
more disciplined in the Way of Life,
because he does the stuff,
works for justice,
tells the truth

without the holy “heebie-jeebies” that someone like me craves,
and then wonders what’s wrong when they are absent.

I wonder if, as he says, there’s an element of “performance Christianity”
in the emotion I sometimes feel in this time of year:

The Word going down to the bottom
of very thin soil. What happens
under
the
pressure?

3. But mostly I just want to say,
to him and to anyone else who says

…but I don’t feel anything…

that’s OK.

It’s possible that only God knows
what it feels like
–in the depths of Godself–
for the universe to shift on its axis.

“In the brooding of the Spirit…”

From N.T Wright’s Easter Oratorio, a passage that never fails to move me about Holy Saturday. I remember a lecture in which he read the last stanza, and, as a punchline, added: “And on the eighth day, New Creation.” Ponder the mystery with me in these last moments before the sun sets on this holy Sabbath:

On the seventh day God rested
in the darkness of the tomb;
Having finished on the sixth day
all his work of joy and doom.

Now the Word had fallen silent,
and the water had run dry,
The bread had all been scattered,
and the light had left the sky.

The flock had lost its shepherd,
and the seed was sadly sown,
The courtiers had betrayed their king,
and nailed him to his throne.

O Sabbath rest by Calvary,
O calm of tomb below,
Where the grave-clothes and the spices
cradle him we do not know!

Rest you well, beloved Jesus,
Caesar’s Lord and Israel’s King,
In the brooding of the Spirit,
in the darkness of the spring.

N.T. Wright, The Challenge of Jesus: Rediscovering Who Jesus Was and Is

… (Holy Saturday)

I believe it was Karl Rahner, writing of Holy Saturday, who said:

Today is the day that “God is dead.”

The Eastern churches say:

On this holy day the creator rested from all His works.

As I ponder this paradox,
it seizes me:

If Jesus had not been willing to do this,

this Gentile boy might know nothing
about the character of God.

Who is ‘abject’? A Good Friday reflection.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of rape, death, physical violence.

The radical Good News of the Messiah Jesus, according to John (12:27-33, brackets mine):

[Jesus said:] ‘Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—“Father, save me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.’ Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, ‘An angel has spoken to him.’ Jesus answered, ‘This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. Now is the judgement of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.’ He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die.

Abject and Crucified One:
Give us the grace and the courage to walk as children of light,
and include us now in the life of your coming Kingdom,
where you reign for ever and ever.
Amen.

Critical theorists use the term abjection to refer to things that “disturb identity, system, [and] order”—the abject is “what does not respect borders, positions, [and] rules.” Something is abject when we feel so threatened that we have a visceral, gut-level response: fear, vomiting, revulsion. We know something is abject when we fear the world as we understand it will end—or even explode! Abjection, paradoxically, makes our worldview coherent, but only by making it the repressed centre of our understanding.

Who is ‘abject’? A young wife abused by her drunk husband so that he can maintain some delusional sense that everything is under control. A man with severe physical disabilities rolling down the street in an automated chair, drool glistening on his chin—deemed ugly and asexual. A gay man or trans* person beaten, a lesbian woman raped, by some local straight boys as their understanding of gender identity implodes and their internalized male privilege erupts. A child working in a sweatshop somewhere in Southeast Asia as a strapped-for-cash student (raises hand) thanks his lucky stars he can afford to buy shoes that won’t break the bank at the local super-corporate everything-in-one-place store. Abject: Out of sight, out of mind. If it, if they, came to mind, we would be faced with our refusal to face reality—so we don’t let them come to mind, and shove them under again, with our words–or our boots. Careful now—we might be faced with the sheer, stinking and rotten realities created by our own hearts and systems.

Jesus says in John that the world is under judgment, and “now the prince of this world will be driven out.” Jesus has been poking holes in the system by performing signs and wonders, and the keepers of the system, the ones helping to reinforce business-as-usual, want Jesus dead. If they face the reality of what Jesus represents, the whole system will come apart. So they want him to die, and Jesus knows it.

Interestingly, critical scholars who write about abjection say that we face it most in the presence of death or dying. We might be able to process death if a friend tells us about it, or if we see someone’s heartbeat flat-lining on a computer screen—these are things that exist in the symbolic order, things that are more-or-less manageable because they are at one remove from death and dying itself. But if we are present at a death: the death of a friend after an illness, or the implosion of a friendship, romance, or marriage—that moment often breaks something inside us. Reality, or at least the Shadow, comes in like a flood, sweeping to one side everything we thought we knew, everything we thought kept us safe.

According to John, Jesus has recently raised his beloved Lazarus from the dead. Let’s get specific, here: Jesus has raised Lazarus’ corpse to life again. For one incredible moment, the reality of human mortality in a world under the influence of the Satan has been utterly disrupted by the Voice of the Word made flesh calling him to life. And now the world—meaning the system under the control of its prince, the Adversary—is going to put Jesus to death. Jesus is about to become the abject, the shadowy “not-quite-a-thing” that the system has to ignore and suppress in order to continue.

BUT. (When we hear about disaster in the context of the Gospel, there’s always a ‘but’)

Hear the words of Jesus: “But when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself.” Without violence, without fanfare, the stark reality of Jesus death has destroyed, is destroying, and will destroy Satan’s ability to keep humanity and our Earth under its control. In the foolishness of God, God makes the Abject One the light of the cosmos and the path to eternal life. The glory of God is the utterly despised and foolish Man hanging on a Roman cross. The ultimate symbol of death and the victory of the world becomes—because it is Godself who hangs there, subverting it—the gateway to the New Creation and the resurrection of the dead.

This is the scandal of the Gospel—“Christ crucified—a stumbling block to Jews” (because the Messiah can’t be a Roman criminal cursed by hanging on a tree, it makes no sense!) “and foolishness to Greeks” (the body is disgusting and corrupt, how could flesh ever save the world? It makes no sense!), “but to us who are being liberated, the power of God and the wisdom of God.”

When we remember the events of Holy Week, and especially when we gather at the foot of Christ’s cross on Good Friday, we find that we are standing in the presence of God, waiting for new life to erupt seemingly out of nowhere, from the very Centre of things. Perhaps the wrong sorts of people: the abused, and the disabled, and the Queer (along with anyone who finds that they, too, are partly responsible for the death and rot in the world), find the favour to walk as children of light. And let us make ourselves available, friends, to let God’s scandalous love, flowing through us, disrupt—if even for a moment—the hold of the Prince of this World over God’s beloved creation, which, in his Cross and Resurrection, Jesus is drawing to completion in Himself. May God grant that we find it so.

(I preached an earlier version of this reflection on Tuesday of Holy Week 2010, at Trinity College Chapel, Toronto.)

We call it Holy Week.

We call it Holy Week, Jesus.

First, our fickle hearts sing Hosanna–“save us now!”
because we thought you were the kind of Messiah
carrying a sword, thirsty for blood.

Then, you gather us for a meal,
for hard teachings,
for the tender moment of washing our feet,
and those same feet flee when the going gets hard.
Our kisses betray you, our swords
are hungry for each other’s ears,
our lies declaim, “We don’t know the Man–leave us alone!”

How can we call this week Holy,
when abused women and men suffer,
when trans* people are beaten and raped,
when those who live with addictions and mental illness
are right next to us,
when Black lives are shot in the streets,
and we cross to the other side of the road?

(And let’s not even consider
the violences we do to those far off,
because they are invisible to us!)

Perhaps we dare to call it Holy, not because we are right,
not because death is not horrible,
but because Love weeps for us.

We dare to call it Holy because you,
the Suffering God, have acknowledged and gathered up
all this death
into your very heart, your very being.
You have breathed out,
in the presence of all your enemies:
“Father, forgive them: they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Death’s hunger and thirst has been stopped up:
It is finished.

We dare to call this Week Holy,
because on the Sabbath day, in a garden tomb,
you rested from all your work.

And then, with a surge of power beyond anything we can understand,
Death melted away:
you got up and walked out of the Garden tomb–
the first day of the New Creation.

We call this Week Holy
because death is not final.
Our cries have been heard.
Our wrongs have been forgiven.

We call this Week Holy because
it is a taste of what comes after Death has faded–
but we are still hungry and thirsty for your life.

Teach us what it means to follow you, Jesus,
because we walk out of this Week,
and you have made our lives Holy.

Amen.